I’m part of a Facebook group for women, and lately, I’ve noticed a trend. Several women have posted about their spouses, specifically how they are not pulling their weight at home. These women complain that their spouses come home after work and play video games until late into the night. Or, they watch tv and leave their significant other to cook all of the food, clean the house, pay the bills and maintain the yard. What they don’t realize is that sharing chores is essential to a good relationship.
True, years ago, women used to do most household work, but that was because being a homemaker was their job. Their spouse worked outside the house, and they stayed home to maintain the household. But times have changed. If both spouses work outside the house, both should work at maintaining the home, too.
How Important Is Sharing Chores?
If you want to be part of a successful relationship, you need to do your fair share of the chores. This sounds harsh, but according to The Atlantic, “sharing household chores was in the top three highest-ranking issues associated with a successful marriage—third only to faithfulness and good sex. In this poll, 62 percent of adults said that sharing household chores is very important to marital success.”
Acts of Service is one of the five love languages. Even if that is not someone’s preferred love language, she still appreciates a partner who is willing to help, to lighten her load a bit, rather than one who sits in front of the television or does his own thing in his free time.
How My Husband and I Share Chores
Our relationship isn’t perfect by any means, but over our 20-plus years of marriage, we have perfected a chore routine.
My husband makes breakfast every morning. I do the dishes afterward.
On weekdays, I prepare dinner and do the dishes afterward because he often works late into the evening. On the weekends, he does all of the cooking and most of the dishes. (I usually do the Sunday night dishes.)
He does most of the outside yard maintenance work, and I do most inside cleaning.
Furthermore, we chip in when we see a need. Sometimes when I’m working on the weekends, he will pick up the house and vacuum. Sometimes on the weekend, I’ll make a breakfast casserole for the upcoming week so he doesn’t have to cook as much in the mornings.
Because we share housework equitably, we both have time for relaxation. We’ll often watch a movie or television show at night together to relax. He has time to take runs in the morning, and I have time to read a book.
I’m thankful that we don’t bicker about chores. We both chip in and do what needs to be done. I appreciate all the work he does around the house, as he appreciates what I do. Knowing that we’re looking out for one another and helping each other deepens our bond.
Sure, washing the dishes when you would rather be relaxing can be a drag. However, why leave all of the chores to your partner? If you’d like a strong partnership, recognize that sharing chores is essential to a good relationship.